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Recent Movie Reviews

7 Movie Reviews

Yet another thoroughly mediocre fight scene which does nothing noteworthy. I gained precisely nothing by watching this and will certainly not revisit it after submitting this review. Also the music is gay.

Modern Art.

What's sad is that the fart version was actually more entertaining than the real thing.

Samination responds:

Truly a sad day.

Recent Game Reviews

6 Game Reviews

Horrible shovelware. No depth whatsoever, no originality whatsoever, and probably no level variety whatsoever (but I can't even get past the first level so I have no fucking clue) and the hitboxes are bullshit. While the visuals are (mostly) decent, it's obvious that no effort of any kind was put into anything else just from the amount of time it takes for you to die after losing your last life. That's not to mention the ridiculous sprites of the player character, who is apparently riding a dinosaur that is riding another dinosaur, while the middle dinosaur is moving its legs for some reason. You can tell they originally planned for it to just be the middle dinosaur and the guy that's on it judging by the sprites seen in the upgrade menu. Somehow, this alone caused problems severe enough that they actually noticed, so they chose the laziest possible solution. The bottom dinosaur doesn't even have a different animation for when the player is dashing, while the middle one does.

I cannot for the life of me figure out the timing necessary to get past those rocks without damage. It requires multiple ridiculously precise (if even possible at all) jumps, mostly because of fucking retarded hitboxes, and upgrading my jump didn't make it any easier. The only way I could get past it was by upgrading my life so I could take more hits, which involved a tedious process of dying on that part over and over again to gradually accumulate points, and I should never have wasted so many minutes of my life on such a process in a game that exactly no one (not even the people who made it) will ever give a shit about. Once I was past the rocks I just encountered more bullshit and quit.

Oh yeah, the music. It's the same generic and inconsequential shit looped over and over again. I found myself muting my own computer just so I wouldn't hear it anymore when writing this review.

I notice the author is named "dinorungames." Does that mean he constantly submits other games exactly like this one? I don't even want to know. This is worthless garbage and it has no valid reason to exist.

This would be a decent Impossible Quiz clone is most of the answers weren't completely random. Seriously, in just about every question that doesn't use the same tired gimmicks as every other quiz game ever submitted, there is no means of knowing which answer is correct other than simple trial an error, so this game becomes an exercise in memorization. It isn't very fun. At least in the original Impossible Quiz, the answers made a little sense.

"Addictive game" my ass.

First of all, absolutely no originality. Nowhere in this game was there anything even remotely new. Second, absolutely no audio. The graphics were relatively good, but certainly not new or interesting.

More importantly, the gameplay was simply awful, not because it was frustrating, but because it was painfully simple. A five-year-old with Down's Syndrome would not be challenged by this game. If you're going to copy a concept that has been done many times in the past, at least make it challenging.

Recent Audio Reviews

2 Audio Reviews

This exemplifies everything wrong with recent dubstep while not even possessing the sort of competence I would expect from Skrillex. There's no sense of coherence or of buildup to a bass drop; instead, almost the entire thing sounds like a bass drop, and not even a particularly pleasing one. Also, certain sounds in the first fifteen seconds stand out so much that they sound like distorted fart noises.

GaloFrito responds:

:( ...

Despite the title, this isn't quite what I'd call decent. You probably meant "descent" but whatever. Compositionally, it isn't terrible, but everything else kinda is. The guitar tone in the part where you used some distortion is particularly laughable.

Recent Art Reviews

1 Art Reviews

Now that's a beautiful woman. Also I really like the style and the way it's only partially colored.

Dat ass.

I fucking Suck.

FUCK YOU @IFuckingSuck

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Joined on 7/7/09

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